The Neighbors

by John Heineman
3/94

My Lady has a garden
that's a wonder just to see
She spends more time there
than she ever does on me

The neighbors all come by
when she is not around
And wonder at the stuff
she has growing in our ground

What makes her garden bloom so well ?
they insist that they be told
And they continue to question
What secret does she hold ?

You've got to share just what She does
to kill the slugs
and avoid the mould
What makes her roses last so long
When ours just wilt
. . . and look so old

Then one day they all gathered 'round
as I swept my walk and stair
You just got to tell us
to keep her secret private
just isn't very fair

Well, I said . . . she does exactly
the same as you
Try talking to your flowers
that's what I heard her do

Well, they all went home
muttering, two by two
Like somehow I was keeping back
what I really knew

As the days went by
my Lady's garden bloomed and grew
With Bleeding Heart and Trillium
and other rarities from the 'wood'
and the splendor of it all
was the wonder
of the neighborhood

Then they came back to see me
"We've tried to do
just what you said, you know
. . . and nothing that you told us
have made our garden grow"

"Matter of fact . . . a lot have died,"
reported a neighbor with a frown . . .
"And I planted ones just like that . . ."
and he pointed to the ground

"Well", I asked, "What did you say ?"
they hung their heads in embarrassment
and reported in this way:

"Oh my dear, I love you
please do bloom for me"

And another said . . . . she even cried !

"Well, no wonder," I said,
"That's probably
why your flower died."

"Well, tell us"
they all cried,
"What does she say to her flowers ?"

"Well, she never acts so whimpy
as to ask them "please to bloom
Actually what I heard her say
shouldn't be shared in Public
with company in the room."

"Come-on tell us."
"We'll mow your lawn."
"We'll wash your car."
"Just tell us what she tells her flowers
to make them bloom so keen."

They leaned in like a huddle
of a team on the 10 yard line
And I cleared my throat
Knowing a lot was resting on
my future mowing
and sidewalk, clean-up time.

Well, I'll be honest . . .
they all held their breath
. . . . but you've got to promise,
not to breath a word.

They all crossed their hearts
an pledged their honor
not to tell
whatever it was they heard

"Well, we had this yellow rose, I said
that hardly bloomed at all
It was in the middle of the flower bed
and hadn't grown very tall

an I saw her grab the stem of that small rose
like a mic in a Reno Club
She looked around the garden and reported,
Testing . . . One, Two, Three . . .
are all you plants out there listenin' to me ?

And she turned and spoke
to that little Rose
in a voice for all to hear
"You better bloom, you little Whimp,
or I'll rip-you-out
roots and all . . . . . . .
Is this message clear ?"

"Your kidding," whispered a nature lover
as the rest gave a wide-eyed gasp
and leaned in closer yet
"Well, what happened next," they demanded . . .
their foreheads beaded with sweat.

"Well, the Rose, it lost its petals . .
and it just died, dead."

"dead ?" questioned a little voice.
every one stared at me . .
not a word
was said . .

an I continued . . . .

"But you should have seen
those other plants bloom
in that damned ol flower Bed

After she yanked that Rose Bush out
those flowers just went wild."

Well, those neighbors they just looked at me
an not one of em'
even smiled

"It's true I said . ."
an they began to walk away

. . . . . . and nothing's been the same at all
since that sunny day.

I'm glad you like Her garden
I appreciate you commin' by,
But it's turnin' dark . . .
. . . and I'd like to stay an talk
But I've just finished mowin' my lawn
an I still gotta
sweep my walk !